TMI:City Of Hollywood
by Scrotie McBoogerBalls
Summary: The gang's story is being made into a film. They're all excited to become famous, and get a taste of Hollywood lifestyle. What happens when Jace and Simon suddenly become BFF's? Or when Hollywood goes to all the Boys' heads? Izzy and Clary are even baffled by the Boys' reaction. Oh well that's what happens when you go Hollywood! AU/OOC Rated T for HARSH Language, and sexual content
1. Chapter 1

**First Off: There is no lemons in this, sorry. =( Secondly: beware of crude humor. Thirdly: I do not own The Mortal Instruments Characters. Only the plot. Have fun! =)**

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Chapter 1! We're gonna be famous?

"Jace?" Clary said his name in a whisper, and rolled over to face him. He was lying down on his stomach with his face pushed into the pillow, and his arms spread out around him. Clary couldn't help but still enjoy watching Jace sleep peacefully. It'll never become old to her.

"Jace.." She whispered again, this time getting a small 'hmm' out of him. So she sat up some and started to lightly blow his into the curls on his head, and around his ear. She was actually shocked to hear him giggle. He never giggled, so she did it again erupting louder giggles out of him. "Jaace…" She sang his name, and blew on his ear again.

"Hehe, don't stop." He said into his pillow. Clary rolled her eyes, and shoved him, making him finally lift his head and cranked his neck to look at her, his eyes filled with sleep, and a goofy grin upon his face.

"You liked that?" Clary laughed.

"Ye-ahh." Jace stretched like a dog. "It felt good." Clary rolled her eyes and playfully shoved him. Jace laughed, unaffected by her gesture, and then decided to trap her in his arm and pull her down to him. He forced her to snuggle against him, not that she cared. She gave in to the embrace and happily inhaled his scent from his pristine white t-shirt.

"Hmmm," Jace moaned. "Let's just sleep in today. How's that sound? No work, no training, no hunting, notta. Let's just stay in bed all day and be lazy."

"Jace, you sound like a girl on her period."

"Okay, I'm up!" Jace immediately let go of his girl and hopped on his feet. It was then that the door to their bedroom flew opened and stood in the frame was Isabelle. Her long black hair cascading down her back. She wore casual clothes today, just a tight, white spaghetti strapped shirt, and a pair of faded blue skinny jeans. She wore pink flats on her feet, which actually presented Izzy's true height. She was still significantly taller than Clary, but a huge difference was shown when for once in her life she wasn't wearing sky-high heels.

"By the Angel, Iz!" Jace groaned. "Don't you ever knock, what if we were indecent?" Isabelle rolled her eyes, and put a single hand on her hip.

"Oh please, it's not like I haven't seen either of you naked before. Not to mention it's totally normal for God's creatures to screw. Why should I get uncomfortable over something that is completely natural?"

"What about when I was with Kaelie?" Jace asked, smirking.

"Okay…. That wasn't very natural- but you get the point!" She pointed a skinny finger at him. Clary finally climbed out of bed, only wearing one of Jace's boxers and his t-shirts.

"Isabelle, it seems that no matter where Jace and I live, you always show up as our personal alarm clock." Clary sighed. Isabelle grinned smugly.

"Yup! You got that right Sister! Besides, we've got big news, so get dressed, or don't get dressed, either way hurry into the living room! We gotta talk!" And like that she stalked out the door shutting it behind her. .

"We?" Jace said to Clary. "Is everyone else here too?"

"I guess so." Clary said while already changing into one of her own simple shirts and a pair of jeans. "Must be big." Jace nodded, and shrugged. Clary made her way to the bedroom door, Jace following behind. Clary stopped and looked at Jace curiously. In return, Jace raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You aren't going to change?"

Jace looked down at himself, then back up to her. He smiled and shrugged. Clary- as surprised as she was- nodded in agreement. Jace usually loves looking nice for any occasion, but since they got their own place he's been sort of laying back. Not that it bothered her any. She was beginning to believe that it was the rule of the house at the institute to be up and ready by dawn, instead of it being Jace's rule. Or maybe it was a simple case of "I'm finally on my own" syndrome. He can do almost whatever he wanted here, without getting ridiculed. So, let him have his freedom, Clary didn't care none.

When they arrived in the living room, most of the gang was there. Meaning Simon, Izzy, Alec, and Magnus.

"What's the occasion?" Jace finally broke the silence, beginning with a smirk, of

course.

"They're making our story into a movie!" Isabelle shrieked! Acting more girlie than she's ever had. The others looked excited too, until…

"What!?" Jace shouted back! The rest of them looked at him, bewildered by his reaction.

"Clearly you don't understand the extent of the situation." Magnus implied. Jace just shook his head.

"I just think it's stupid, is all." Everyone, including Clary was staring at Jace in utter shock. Did he really just say that?

"I personally, hope they cast the hottest chick in Hollywood to play me- CHICKS hottest chicks to play _us_… hehe… right Clary?" Izzy changed her opinion when she saw Clary's face. "Oh c'mon!" Izzy rolled her eyes. "I am, like, the hottest chick in the story, who ends up with the dork, and Jace is the hottest guy who also ends up with a dork."

"Thanks Isabelle." Clary groaned. "That means a lot."

"Yeah… for real… I am only a dork at heart." Simon chimed in. "I haven't been a dork on the surface for a very long time."

"Oh please, Moses Skywalker!" Jace scoffed. "Look at your shirt!"

Simon looked down at his "Meek shall inherit the Earth" shirt that had Spock standing with his famous hand gesture.

"OH whatever!" Simon whined. "But don't you dare belittle my people you fucking ass!"

"Don't call me an ass you fucking Jew!" Jace shouted back.

"Whoa whoa." Clary stood between them, then suddenly everyone got quiet.

"Why does this little scene we just had seem so familiar?" Jace asked. Simon shrugged, trying to think.

"I don't know… Jace… are you German?" Jace shrugged.

"I don't know, I mean- I don't think so- But I could be, I know that I'm- wait! Why are we even talking about this?"

"Exactly!" Isabelle shouted. "We're all going to be famous!"

"Actually, technically… the stars get famous pretending to be us." Simon corrected.

"Oh will you all stop sucking the fun out of this!" Isabelle whined.

"Yes, please!" Magnus laughed. "I for one cannot wait to go to the premiere."

"What makes you think we could even be invited?" Alec asked.

"They'd have to." Clary stepped in. "I mean- wont they? We're the actual characters for Pete's sake!"

"Well… when it comes to Hollywood, there is a bunch of politics involved and it's just hectic, ya know." Simon said.

"Says the film expert." Magnus scoffed.

"HEY!" Clary pointed at Magnus. "You better listen to him, He's a nerd and most directors are nerds, very phew of them were alpha males when they were younger. So since Simon and I are nerds, we're the closest you're going to get for experts in this room."

"I'm confused…" Jace said, scratching the curls on top of his head. And finally taking a seat on one of the chairs.

"I wonder who will play us." Clary repeated Isabelle's question. "Do you know whose going to be us?"

"That sounds funny." Simon giggled. Clary rolled her eyes at her best friend and turned to Izzy for her answer.

"I don't know yet. But don't worry, I am working on it." Izzy winked at Clary.

"Well, we know one thing's for sure." Jace said. The others looked at him questionably, while he smirked and rubbed his chin.

"And what is that, Goldilocks?" Magnus mocked.

"The person they pick for me will suck."

"And how do you know that!?" Clary grinned, already knowing Jace's answer.

"Because no one… and I repeat…. No one… can pull off being me except Moi himself. I am just that damn fantastic."

Clary giggled, while the others groaned against Jace's usual wit and arrogance, but Clary knows he wouldn't be Jace without it. Then Izzy sighed and let out some laughter. "You are so conceited." She laughed and shook her head. "But, you're you."

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**IMPORTANT:**

**1.) The only reason why this A/N is important is because I don't want anyone flipping out on me, assuming I am going to bash the movie, because I am not. Yes, Jace will tease Jamie when they meet, because Jace teases anyone who is not him! Duh! LOL We all know Jace by now. Jace said what he said here, because... well... that's what he would say, and personally my opinion is not any single actor can pull Jace off. Not even the best actor in the world could pull off Jace to me, that's just how much I love Jace LOL.**

**2.) I felt like doing this because this will be funny and not at all dramatic like all my other stories. I felt like taking a break from being serious, and writing something funny. No drama, NOTHING, it's just the gang hanging out laughing and doing random stuff. **

**3.) To answer questions before they're asked about my opinion of the movie... I don't know. It's not out yet, duh! LOL. I mean yea I wish the girl Playing Izzy was taller, and Lilly was shorter but what can you do about that? Not that big of deal. I think they're obsessed with making Alec look older and I cannot in any way imagine why... Alec isn't really described as looking significantly older. Yeah he is older, and looks _somewhat_ older, but not like, 30 years old. But oh well, it may look different on screen, ya know? Robert for Simon is nearly perfect, same thing with the guy playing Magnus. Jamie I am still on the edge of the wall with. I still don't find him attractive, although I do think he's a decent actor and has changed his outer look enough to not look... _obvious_? Is that a good way to explain it? I don't know. lol. He just looks different then when they first casted him, but I still don't see an attractive guy when I look at him *Shrugs* sexual preference... sigh... nothing you can really do about it. **

**Conclusion: Anyways, this is just for a laugh, not to bash. If you want to bash in your review, hahaha, feel free to go ahead. Freedom of speech is important. And you have a right to have an opinion just as much as the person who disagrees with you. So I hope you guys find this funny, and relaxing after so many serious stories.**

**Have fun! ;)**

**ScrottieMcBoogerBalls**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The New us?

Isabelle came blasting in to the sitting room, and nearly made Clary had a heart attack. She was so buried in her book that the loud bang of the door flying open was like a punch in the head.

"They casted us, Clary!" Izzy hopped on the couch, squeezing right in between Jace and Clary, pulling a glare from Jace. As Izzy leaned over Clary to show her who the actors were, Jace continued to glare direct daggers at his sisters head. Isabelle felt the tension of Jace's eyes on her, then finally turned to face him with a '_excuse me?'_ look.

"Can I help you, brother?" For once Jace felt no strength to be witty, and just rolled his eyes, and buried himself in his own book, not interested in the movie, or what the girls were doing.

"Look, this is you, Fray!" Izzy pointed to a pale pretty girl, with a wide smile. "Her name is Lilly, you know, Lilly Collins?" Clary looked at Izzy, wishing she would raise her one eyebrow.

"Who?"

"You've never heard of her?" Clary shook her head.

"Is she in girlie-like movies?" Clary creased her brows. "Because I don't watch that stuff." Isabelle rolled her eyes at her.

"That's Phil Collins' Daughter, sweetie." Magnus said from the Love seat across the way from them, with Alec leaning against him, and his book in his lap. Differently from Jace who was still buried in his book, Alec was actually interested in the movie.

"Really?" Said Clary. She looked back down at the picture of the girl. "She is very pretty."

"Of course she is!" Izzy chirped.

"They got a very pretty girl to play me?" Now Jace looked up…

"And you're not pretty?"

"It's not that I don't think I'm pretty!" Clary rushed her sentence. "It's just that she's… _really_ pretty. She should be you, Iz!"

"And you're not _really_ pretty?" Jace said again.

"Jace stop that!" Iz shouted at him.

"Make me!" Jace slammed his book shut, with a loud thud that bounced off the walls in the institute.

"Puh-lease!" Magnus covered his face. "No childish banter, I am far too old for this!"

"I _know_ I am _really _pretty, Jace. It's just that, why not someone more like Ellen Page, or Juno Temple?"

"Are you disappointed?" Izzy asked.

"God no!" It's just surprising-"

"Than shut up!" Izzy demanded, and Clary stood with her mouth opened, then shut it. Not in the mood for an argument. Izzy moved to the next page, which showed a full view of the girl.

"Oh wow!" Izzy laughed. "She's definitely taller than you!" Clary did a double take and took the picture from Isabelle who was still laughing. Clary then stood up jumping up and down like a child.

"YES! I am finally tall! OH MY GOD YES!"

"Sweetie…" Magnus chuckled. "That's only an actor, you're still a midget." Clary immediately deflated and sat back down, this time between Jace and Isabelle. Jace wrapped an arm around her tightly, and tugged her against his side before whispering in her ear. "You're still _my_ midget!" Clary grinned and gave Iz back the photo.

"What else did they tell you?" Clary asked.

"Well, let's take a look at my actress, shall we." Isabelle pulled her out, and smiled. "Oh she's gorgeous and…. Shorter than you!" She turned to Clary who smirked.

"Oh!" Izzy pouted. "This will not do!"

"Really, Iz?" Magnus laughed. "You're upset over a little height difference. Besides, you're looking at a group picture. The girl playing Clary may be on heels."

"Oh….. but still" Iz skipped to the next person. "Simon!" Isabelle then sighed. "It's sad he is not here to talk about this yet." She pulled out the picture of the actor playing Simon and held it in front of her for everyone to see, even Jace had to take a glance.

"Well…" Jace smirked. "If that's not a Jew." Clary elbowed him in the ribs, making him yelp in pain.

"What!? It's not like he's here right now!"

"You don't insult my boyfriend whether he's here or not!" Izzy pointed one of the papers at him. Jace just rolled his eyes and sat back, pulling up his book again.

"What about Magnus and I?" Alec asked.

"Magnus, this guy looks almost exactly like you!" Iz handed him the photograph. Magnus took it and smirked.

"Not bad."

"What about me?" Alec was practically begging. Isabelle looked down at her pictures and shook her head.

"This can't be you." She says softly.

"Uh oh, Hun." Magnus giggled.

"What do you mean?" Alec was panicking. "Did they screw me up!?"

"He's just way too hot to be you!" Isabelle showed the pic to Alec, and Magnus, erupting a jaw drop from Magnus.

"I'll say!" Magnus laughed. Alec scowled at all of them, and moved away from Magnus, pouting in his own corner of the loveseat.

"Oh c'mon, Allie." Magnus plead with his bottom lip pursed outwards. "I was only joking!"

"Don't…!" Jace joined in. "Don't do that here, please!" Jace said without taking his eyes off his book. Magnus scoffed and leaned back in his seat, staring dangerously at Jace.

"Jace?" Isabelle called him.

"What?!" Jace didn't move his eyes from his book.

"Don't you want to know which actor is going to be you?" She asked in a sweet mockery voice.

"Nope."

"C'mon!"

"Fuck off." Isabelle sighed and folded her arms.

"Fine!"

"Let's see Jace" Magnus said.

"_I'm _Jace!" Jace looked up from under his brows. "Stop talking like these people replace us in reality, they're just actors!"

"You need to shut your mouth, before I literally have it tied in a knot, Goldilocks!" Magnus shouted.

"Both of you shut up!" Alec shouted. Everyone stared at Alec in shock, he was rarely outspoken. Rarely.

Clary took this time to sneak a glance at the picture Izzy was holding. "He's…. cute…" Isabelle looked down at the picture with Clary.

"…Yeah…"

"Let me see!" Magnus ordered. Isabelle handed him the photo, Magnus shrugged in response. "I am rarely into blondes." He then handed the picture to Alec, who tried to shuffle it away.

"C'mon Alec!" Clary rolled her eyes. "You never voice on your opinion on other guys."

"That's because I am not like one of those annoying best-gay-friends girls drag around with them! You will not turn me into one, I refuse…." Isabelle huffed and shoved the picture at him again.

"We're not making you go shopping with us, or give make up advice, we're just asking for a God Damned opinion, now give it!" She shoved the picture in his face, nearly making him fall off the couch.

"Alright!" Alec ripped the picture from Isabelle's grasp, and stared at it. His expression changed from hard to soft as he looked at it.

"Well?" Iz pushed rudely. Alec looked at her with a glare.

"I happen to think he is very attractive!" Alec smiled. "No seriously, I love the smile!" Clary smiled at him, as Alec admired the photo.

"You would!" Magnus scoffed. Alec rolled his eyes at him. "Well, that's a good sign, if _you_ think he's cute! You're supposed to, it's Jace!"

Jace finally slammed his book shut and huffed, while pulling forward to sit on the edge of the couch, reaching out for the paper. "Alright! Fine! Let me see!" Alec handed him. Jace ripped the parchment out of Alec's hand, and stared at it for a significant amount of time. Everyone watched him closed as he squinted his eyes over and over, flipping the paper around in his hands, only to look at it upright again. He finally looked at his girlfriend and his siblings with a confused look on his face.

"What is that?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much you guys, since I am not really trying to write good here at all. lol. Just wanting a break from the seriousness of life and writing. Anyways here's another.**

**Disclaimer: Not Cassandra Clare, don't own the characters. Yeah.**

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Chapter 3: Crappy Movies, and Interior Design?

"That's a guy Jace, surely you know what that is, you're one, I'm one, Magnus-"

"Don't finish that sentence, because the end is a lie." Smirked, Magnus went to stand but Alec pulled him back down to him, begging him to behave.

"And I know what a _guy_ is Alexander!" Jace shoved the piece of paper a back in Isabelle's hands, and went back to reading his book. "I just don't know what _that_ was." Jace shrugged and was almost immediately buried in his book again. Clary and Isabelle stared at the blonde in shock. He finally felt their gaze upon him when he turned his head, and squinted his eyebrows together.

"What?"

"We thought you'd be… I don't know…" Clary pondered. "deflated?" Jace chuckled at her.

"Deflated?"

"Of your ego." Isabelle said. Jace laughed again, sitting back against the sofa, with a hand on his stomach as if to hold himself still from laughing.

"I already told you." He finally calmed down. "No one can exceed in my expectations. It's impossible." Jace smirked again, and reopened his book, but not before eyeing them and giving one last word. "And please stop interrupting my reading, it's starting to annoy me."

Months later the gang continued with their everyday routine. More updates came in on where they were filming, when they were filming and who else was going to be in the film. Jace continued to not care. While the others remained excited. They were relaxing at Jace and Clary's again while Clary was searching the film on her laptop again. She wasn't entirely grasping the actor playing her _so-called father_.

"I know that I did not know him as a father, but… daddy-oh aint that young looking." Clary pointed to the actor playing Valentine. Jace glanced over for a quick moment, and scrunched his face at the photo, and shrugged.

"I just find the entire idea pointless." He said taking a bite out of his eggplant lasagna. "They cannot match up to who and what we actually are, why not just have us do it?"

"It takes a lot more to act than you realize, Goldilocks." Magnus had a scolding stare at the television. He was watching HGTV's Secrets From a Stylist "I swear this girl does not understand the definition of Creativity. Why is she so obsessed with the color blue? I feel that it is a depressing color above all."

"How hard is it to freaking act?" Jace demanded of the Warlock. Magnus looked bored as he finally shifted his attention to Jace.

"Look at this show for instance." Magnus pointed to the TV screen. "This bitch is acting her way out of a paper bag, she doesn't understand Design even in the slightest, but she sure as hell can _sound_ like a design specialist. Just watch her…"

Jace watched the screen as the blonde hopped around the room, pointing at many things, placing different things and talking about certain colors.

"She seems confident enough." Jace said.

"Exactly. Let's see you try it- I mean" Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose, realizing whom he was talking to. "Never mind, don't try it."

"Yeah, cause I'll make you eat shit." Jace chuckled. Magnus rolled his eyes, and looked at Jace again with a tired look in his eyes.

"Why do you younger generation diseases say that? _Eat shit. _What does that even mean."

"I don't know!" Jace shoved more food in his mouth. "I said it because I would _literally_ make you eat shit!" Clary looked at Jace with her face scrunched.

"Ewwww." Clary went back to switching through the pages on her lap top again, still the disgusted image inside her head.

"Trust me, sweetie." Magnus chuckled at her. "The film will be dreadful." Both Clary and Jace looked at Magnus shocked.

"Why do you say that!?" Clary asked.

"Because nearly every book to film adaptation is."

"Where is this coming from?" Jace shook his head. "Just yesterday you were more excited than Isabelle is when she buys a new bra."

"Oh I _am_ excited."

"Than why did you say it'd suck?" Clary asked.

"Just because I think it might suck does not mean I am not incredibly excited. I think it's great, and don't tell Allie this, but I _cannot wait_ until I meet Alec's Actor. He has gorgeous blue eyes! OH!"

"Alec has pretty blue eyes." Clary stated. Jace went right back to eating his food, and ignoring the both of them.

"Yes, but have you seen the actor's eyes, Clarissa? OH. MY. Science! They are incredible!"

"Oh my Science?" Jace asked.

"I am not an Atheist, but everyone says 'Oh my God' so I thought I'd be a little different."

"You got that from South Park." Clary laughed.

"And so did your boyfriend, and best friend when they had that _Jew_ argument." Magnus countered.

"AH!" Jace shouted. "THAT'S why that moment seemed so familiar. I am like a better looking, smarter, and more creative version of Eric Cartman! Now _that_ is a wonderful compliment!" Both Clary and Magnus shook their heads, ignoring the cocky blonde.


End file.
